What happened
didn't start with you.

Patterns run through families. Some were handed to you before you could choose. Putting your family story into words is a way to see them clearly, at your own pace, in your own words.

Start the reflection Open the free app

Private by default: nothing here is uploaded, there is no account, and you can stay completely anonymous.

These questions ask about your family and about things that may have been hard. You can skip anything, answer in fragments, or stop and come back another day. Support lines are at the bottom of this page.

It stays yours

The reflection lives only in this browser. No account, no upload, no analytics. You decide whether anyone ever reads a word of it.

It is free

There is nothing to pay and nothing to sign up for. When you want to keep mapping, the traumaroots app is free to use too.

It goes somewhere

Finish with a written summary you can bring to a therapist, a family member, or into the app, where your words become a family map.

A private reflection

Eight questions. Your words only.

Write as much or as little as you like. Everything saves automatically in this browser, so you can leave and come back.

1The people

Start with who was there. Only what you know, and gaps are allowed.

A few words about you, as you sit with this today. You never have to use your name. Write whatever feels true. Who was in the house you grew up in? Who was missing? People, pets, whoever counted. Absences count too. What do you know about your parents and grandparents? What happened in their lives? Pieces of stories, a date, a rumour, a photograph. Anything.

2The patterns

Now look across the generations. You are watching, not judging.

What seems to repeat in your family, from one generation to the next? Work, worry, distance, devotion: anything that echoes. How do people in your family cope when things get hard? The useful ways and the costly ways. What is not talked about? A silence is also something you know.

3What you want to understand

Finish by pointing at what you would like to see more clearly.

If you could ask an older relative one question, what would it be? Ask it here if you cannot ask it in person. What would understanding this change for you? For you, or for the people who come after you.

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What happeneddidn't start with you.